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Are You Afraid of Your Garage?

Monsters live under beds. Adults aren’t always smart enough to know this, but every kid knows that it’s true. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean that they’re not there. That’s why you don’t sleep with your hand dangling down close to the floor. That’s why you keep your feet on top of the bed.


Under-the-bed monsters, you see, are not allowed by the laws of Monsterdam to roam around. They must stay underneath the bed. But any body part that comes within their reach – like a dangling hand or a hanging foot – is fair game.

Monsters live in closets, too – especially bedroom closets, at night, with the door left open and providing a clear view to your bed. Those kinds of closets are just crawling with monsters. That’s why most kids know better than to venture into a dark closet at night with the lights out.

Closet monsters are like under-the-bed monsters in that they’re not usually visible. Not usually visible. But sometimes, a kid who knows what he or she is looking for can spot them when a closet door is left open and the lights are out.

Stare into the murky, spooky depths of that darkened closet long enough, and that monster will sometimes materialize like a ghostly apparition. Not for long – only for an instant. But that’s long enough.

That’s why you don’t tempt fate by leaving the closet door open at night. And if you realize too late that a door was left open after the lights are out and you’re tucked into bed, you just stay under the covers and keep your eyes averted from that black hole in the wall. Morning will be soon enough to close that closet door.

Adults Have Monsters, Too…

Under-the-bed monsters and closet monsters – those are kid monsters. They’re not after adults. And again, most adults aren’t smart enough to know that those monsters are even there, anyway.

But there’s another kind of monster that adults do fear. It lives in garages – garages that are cluttered-up, junked-up messes.

And in an interesting twist, garage monsters don’t care about kids, and kids don’t care about them. Kids can play all day in a monster-infested garage without a bit of concern. For kids, in fact, the more cluttered a garage, the better. It’s lots more fun to play in than a neat, clean and orderly garage. (Not counting all the cool family-play-room kind of uses that a clean and well-organized garage can offer.)

What’s that you say? You don’t believe in garage monsters? Oh yes, you do. If your garage is a cluttered-up mess, you absolutely believe in garage monsters. They scare you every time you set foot in your garage. Maybe not a terror-like fear, but a very real sense of discomfort and anxiety, at the least.


It’s those monsters that cause the overwhelming sense of anger you feel when you’re looking for something that you desperately need, and that you know is in that garage, but that you just can’t find no matter how long you look. (In case you didn’t know, garage monsters take great delight in moving around the thing that you’re looking for. They’ll let you get close to the thing, and then they’ll snatch it away and cram it under a different pile of clutter. The longer you look, and the angrier you get, the more they enjoy the game!)

It’s those monsters that cause you to feel absolute despair about all that junk stored in your garage. Don’t you just sometimes stand and stare at everything that’s piled in your garage? What can you possibly do with all that stuff? It just seems hopeless! Garage monsters feed off all that hopelessness and despair.

Even Monsters Have to Obey the Rules

You may not be ready to admit it yet, but I think you know deep inside that garage monsters exist. If you have them in your garage, you know it. You don’t have to call them ‘monsters’ if you’d rather not, but whatever you call them, they’re there. But they don’t have to be.

You see, monsters are just like the rest of us: they have to obey the rules. And the rules forbid garage monsters from living in clean and orderly garages. That’s OK, because they really don’t like living in those kinds of garages anyway. Not much fun.

So if you’ve been living with your garage monsters for a while, and have grown tired of them, they’re actually pretty easy to drive away. All you have to do is call

TLC Inc. to clean up your garage. Problem handled, and monsters banished. To the unsuspecting public, you see, we’re a garage cleanup and organization service. But in reality, we’re monster fighters. We specialize in garage monsters. And just in case you’re wondering – no, we can’t help you with the monsters in your kid’s room. That’s a whole different breed of monster. But don’t worry; your kid knows how to handle them.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 5th, 2013 at 4:54 pm. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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